It cost how much?

Have you ever gotten a dental statement as to how much something was, and had your eyes suddenly bug out like you were in a Saturday morning cartoon? I just got a statement from my insurance company stating that the crowns I got are not covered by my policy. They were $990.00 each!!

So after a moment of panic, I called my mom to get advice. She recommended getting the details about my policy and finding out the why. Also, she said sometimes it takes more than one time submitting for a a company to pay. This sounds like a pretty inefficient way to run a company, is it really true?

So now I have what amounts to car payments again, only it's the valuables in my mouth. Sigh. Does grasping at money, trying to hold on to money, make the universal karmic energy so that you keep losing more money? Cause right about now it sure feels like it.

Blah.

Eeeek!

So I got a letter today from my bank. It stated that such and such account was now closed due to lack of funds and unpaid charges.

WTF? My heart started racing. Right away I'm thinking is this my checking account, wondering if someone got my info and took money out, or if I had very much overestimated the amount left in there. There should have been at least $200.00 by this, the last week of June by my reckoning. Damn I can't wait to get paid, let me tell you.

So right away I go over to the bank, take the letter. My heart is pounding. I'm already thinking of who I have to call and ask them to hold off on cashing a check. I'm thinking of the game subscription I have and how I better cancel that so as not to keep getting charges for that too. I'm thinking "How the hell did this happen?". I'm wondering how I'll get out of it. I'm grateful for the $400 I have in a savings account that should be at least able to save my ass.

I get to the bank, heart pounding. I go up and explain to the lady that I got this letter, and I think there's been some trouble. I tell her I'm sure it's sposed to be incorrect and can I get a printout of withdrawals and debits to see if I recognize all of them (yeah, I know that's what bank statements are for). She pulls up the information, does a couple of printouts, but (to my eyes) 1 page in no way has all the info I'm looking for. Inside I'm dreading her saying that I'd have to refer to my bank statements.

Well get this. Turns out the account isn't for my checking. It's for a money market account I FUCKING CLOSED last April so I could pay my taxes!! Oops! Bank error, it wasn't really closed. They'd been fining the crap out of an account with a 0 balance and had just now written to tell me that they were closing it and I owed em $124.00. Now obviously, this isn't my fault. It's a bank screwup. The lady turns to a man working to ask some questions, he looks at the puter, and they speak back and forth to each other in banker talk about GL and debits and departments. She gets on phone to the department the letter came from, and finds out what she needs to do to FUCKING CLOSE THE ACCOUNT correctly and make the $124.00 owed disappear.

So I sat there for 40 minutes, calming down, elated inside that my financial life wasn't flashing before my eyes. But somehow I was also thinking "why the hell don't they offer something more when they screw up?" I mean seriously... The bank makes a mistake that costs you to re-evaluate your life, your income, who would've had access to your info, and who you have to contact to keep it from getting worse (not to mention count the days to your next paycheck) and they should offer you something to keep your business.... like, a house. Why should it be enough that they fix the damn error?

"We're so sorry we screwed up, please accept this house on our behalf and we hope you will keep banking with us."

Back From Camp

How do I put into words one of the coolest vacations I get to take each year?

Maybe I should start by writing what it is not. It is not a tour of theme parks or monuments (although some of the guys would joke that it could be hehe). It is not an air conditioned hotel with room service and cable tv. It is not a bug-free, carpeted, posh place with comfy chairs and sofas.

It is a place of sun, rain, heat, cold, and dew soaked tents. Port-a-potty at night, public restrooms during the day. River canoeing, complete with underwater trees, gravel beds, snakes, great blue herons, bald eagle, and multiple strained muscles and bruises from overturning. A serene quiet so all embracing as to be sacred. Horseback riding; dusty strong horses, horseflies, horse shit, quiet trails through woods and meadows. Aching thighs, sunburnt arms. Picnic benches: unyielding wood, sore butts. Camping chairs, gravel roads, itchy grass.

All these things help to describe a place that is 15 minutes from the nearest civilized gas station with quickie mart. Little to no cell phone coverage (thank god), and certainly no Wi-Fi.

None of these things though, describe the people. It's the people that make this trip special. Imagine a place where you have 20-60 of the coolest people you'd ever want to meet, who all come from very diverse backgrounds, but share a passion for gaming, a trend for geekness, and a penchant for beer (or jaeger, or vodka, or what have you).

This is a time when we get to be ourselves. We don't censor what we say or how we say it. Plenty of hugs, gropes, innuendo, and laughter. Acceptance. Beautiful men who cook: from venison salami or burgers, to fajitas grilled on a real grill, hotdogs, sandwiches. It is a time of plenty. Plenty of food for the stomach, laughter for the soul, candy for the eyes. There is no better appetizer than the smell of charcoal smoldering in anticipation. Strong women who flirt, flash, and will spank if you ask.

This is a time of freedom. Four days without cell phones, internet connections, responsibilities to jobs or children or school. Thoughts of our everyday mundane lives do not need to be tended to. It is a time without the noise and distractions of modern life. No TVs blaring CNN or the latest "infotainment" report about the latest celebrity anorexic. Music, oh... there is sweet music. iPods of all sizes and colors. Better by far however, are the jam sessions of guitarists, singing everything from Pink Floyd to "Baby Got Back". Men who can happily converse in the leet terms of the gaming world, the geek vocabulary of networks and routers, yet still have such depth of talent to either play guitar or sing.

Time to connect, to energize the spirit. To feed that voice that begs for overindulgence of alcohol, or friendly gropes and backrubs. And as the weekend winds down, and we all stand around a dwindling campsite, a time to appreciate the modern comforts we'll return to: a soft bed, a shower (with unlimited hot water), a bubble bath, and cool air on a hot day.

I am tired, I am bruised, I am slowly re-hydrating myself. I have mosquito bites, but luckily no sunburns.

I cannot wait to go again.

Wheeeee!

I am soon to leave for Camp :D The annual pilgrimage to America's Heartland to suffer in 90 degree weather. And drink beer. And laugh, drink beer, canoe, drink beer, play cards, drink beer, massage, drink mixed drinks, swim, rehydrate. No updates from me for quite some time while I'm gone :D

Things are going better with my new roommate. I'm adjusting, and it's actually been good for me to have someone around to talk to. We've even shared some recipes hehe.

I feel as though I probably won't hear from Mr. Mirror again. He didn't have time for me, or wouldn't make time for me last week, and I wrote a scathing letter. Soon as I hit send I regretted it. I knew he wouldn't get it until this week, and it's still been bothering me. So I called while he was at class today and left an apology on his answering machine. He may not forgive me, but it was something I had to say to him before I got on my plane tomorrow. Everytime a plane I'm on takes off, I make peace with my life. Cause you never know, y'know?

I really regret things didn't go better with Mr. Mirror. That he had emotional baggage. That I acted from anger without thinking. That he doesn't have time for me, and doesn't appear to want to. I keep reminding myself the cliche of "it's his loss"... but damn, he was a great kisser. We could have had some awesome sex.

Near Miss With a Psychotic

So I forgot to tell you I had a near miss with a psycho, or a drug addict. Remember Mr. Indian dude? Last week I'd sent him a message about the Czech World Cup team getting beat by Ghana, cause he'd written some AI program that predicted Czech and Brazil would be in the semi-finals. So that night, about 9:12 he writes a reply, pretty normal. Then at 10:44pm, he writes another reply. But then at 11:11pm he kinda spazzes and writes:

aaa bbb ccc ddd jhjhhkhh
nbbbmb ggggg guguig hlllk hiohioi
nknknkknkc j j kl lkv v//, .,/ k,';v';n'; v;jfiibo
behaving like a 5 year jhhkjhkk

I write back asking "uh, you ok?" He responds:

i am crying like a baby, banging my head against door, whipping myself , tearing my clothes and screaming

Thinking he was jokingly upset that I hadn't liked him, I write back "Awww it's ok hon, don't cry. Somewhere you'll find a woman as sexy and interested in hindi things as I am. It'll be ok :) " Now, he had joked to extremes before, so I had no grounds to think he was really distraught. Then he floors me with this:

i want you.
i want food,
i am hungry.
i want coke.
i want cadillac.
i want everything.
i want to see you.
I will increase my age this time you come. I will walk with a stick and tremble.
i like your interest in indian stuff and you are cute.
you must see uma thurman's "prime".
37 year old thurman dates and passionately loves a 23 year old guy after getting divorced.
i want that too and i also want uma thurman with you, threesome !!!

uh dude... WTF? Not gonna happen. I shouldn't have written him back, but I did, saying just that. Wasn't gonna happen. He writes back:

i know..uma thurman will reject that...she won't like me to share with you !!!!
i am upset, you were mean to me. you didnt come into my house.
again, i have started crying and now i am rolling on carpet and taking my clothes off.
da da da da puh puh puh tim tim tim tim kip tip sip dip

At this point, I logged for the night. I am completely blown away by how insane this dude is, and ever so glad I *didn't* enter that apartment with him. Geezus. Next morning I see this from 12:49am:

xbnbxb bbabjb bxankjn jnjx lknxnx lahxihx nxjnxn
teacher, teacher:
how do you control a 3 year old like me without spanking?

I took him off my friends list at MySpace, and never sent him another message. Maybe he was on drugs, maybe I am just that sexy. Naw... he must've been on drugs.

Dreams

I had weird crazy dreams last night. Not wierd as in midgets and jello with a donkey, but weird like the kind of dreams I haven't had for years. Stress dreams about teaching.

I dreamt that I was back in school, teaching. A bunch of us teachers were sitting around and this one guy was making a derisive comment about lack of planning and organization in my grade level. I got steamed because we did have planning meetings that he never ever came to, so I yelled at him about that. Everyone's reactions was like "whoa, stop yelling, take a chill pill". That's not what they said, but you get the idea. I felt awful about the overreaction.

Then other things started happening. I wasn't teaching kindergarten, but 3rd grade again. It was the last day of school, and I got a brand new student. Only I didn't know I was getting a new student until he was actually there and I asked him what he was doing there. Boy did I look stupid. Then the lunch that they served in the rooms, there wasn't enough to go around. Most pieces had names attached to the ones that ordered them, but there were like 4 or 5 that didn't have names, creating chaos for the ones that didn't have any lunch.

There were end of year planned activities that I didn't know anything about until it was time for them. And then, after all the kids were gone for the year, someone pointed out to me that we'd never cleaned out the desks, and all the textbooks and erasers etc were still in there, unclaimed.

Sigh. The reocurring theme here seems to be of chaos and lack of order. I wonder if it has to do with me getting a new roommate all of a sudden. I didn't really expect him to move in yesterday like he did, when he just came up to look at the place, but brought everything with him. I also didn't expect that he wouldn't be able to pay his part of the rent until he got paid at the end of the month, when I'm having to pay for it ahead of time.

Ah well, adjustments all around it seems.

Too Young

Welp, Mr. Indiandude was too young. Not just agewise... but where-he-is-in-life wise. He's at an age where he loves to go out dancing and drinking when he's not studying. He's got a year till he finishes his Master's. He also had a habit of making jokes that included stereotypes. Not cool in my book. I think he needs some more exposure to African Americans before making sweeping statements about those being most of the homeless in his unviersity town (the 3 homeless I saw there were white), and that to hide something from an African American, you only had to put it in a book.

The trip there and back took at least an hour each way. Normally I wouldn't have made such a gesture. But we got along very well in emails and on phone. He made me laugh. The date itself lasted about an hour, as my parking meter had only that much time left on it. We had lunch at an Indian restaurant. What I thought would be a funny and informative session about the different foods of India turned out to just be a buffet. As he is yet without a car, I took him back to his place and declined his offer to go inside his apartment. Yeah, 23 is too young for me.

Jenny, and an Update

I went to Jenny Craig yesterday for my weekly consultation. I went in uncertain as to how my weigh in results would be. I knew I'd been as good as I could have been, given circumstances. I knew I'd worked my butt off in walking compared to before. But I didn't feel like I'd lost weight.

The results were more than I could have hoped for. I lost 3 lbs and 1 oz! This makes about 10 lbs since April 29th. Next week I'll get my measurements taken to see how they compare to the beginning. After my next visit, will be my greatest challenge.

I'm going camping with a ton of friends. There's always lots of food and alcohol. My downside will be the alcohol. I like to go with no limits placed upon myself except that I remember, and don't throw up hehe. This year will be the first year I attend thinking about caloric consumption.

An update in other areas of my life... Mr. Mirror has been steadily pulling away emotionally. I know that he has a lot of baggage with past relationships. That's his to deal with and learn from and grow from, lest he repeat them. I miss his openness, his communicativeness. I send emails and he doesn't respond. Sigh. ah well.

I have a first date today with a guy from India... we'll see how that works out.

Spicy Chicken Fetish?

I gave in tonight.

I was laying in bed trying to get to sleep. The 600 thread count sheets were no consolation. For some reason, all I could think about was a greasy Spicy Chicken sandwich and baked potato from Wendy's. I battled it. But it was like my brain was calling out for it. Besides, if I waited too long, the drive thru would be closed. Sigh.

So I got up, got dressed, went out to the Wendy's. As I drove away with my desired bag of grease and spice in the passenger seat, it hit me. I felt ashamed that I had to have my fix. I felt like a late night perv going to the sex toy store to get a fetish fix. Or rather, I wondered if that's what it felt like. At least I didn't get a frosty too.

So now I'm here, recounting my sin on the net for whoever may read. I may not get absolved, but I hope I can find a balance between eating right in the search to lose weight, versus not being ashamed when I'm weak.

Belief-o-Matic

http://beliefnet.com/story/76/story_7665_1.html

Take a personality quiz about your spiritual and religious beliefs. I did, and was slightly surprised at the results. Here are my top 10:



1. Reform Judaism (100%)
2. Unitarian Universalism (89%)
3. Neo-Pagan (88%)
4. Sikhism (85%)
5. Liberal Quakers (84%)
6. Orthodox Judaism (78%)
7. Mahayana Buddhism (78%)
8. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (76%)
9. New Age (74%)
10. Bahá'í Faith (70%)

Time to Catch Up

Well it's been awhile since I've posted about what's going on in my life. I had a very busy weekend, and for a change, have something to write about! haha.

Friday night I went over to the home of parents of a girl I used to teach. Hrm... there should be an easier way to say that. I used to say "room parents" but then what do I say when I no longer teach their child? Anyway, we had thai chicken dishes and good conversation. Their daughter had been missing me... to the point where she didn't want her mom to say my name, or kindergarten, or "last day" cause it made her sad. When her mom asked what she should call me, the girl replied that she could call me by my first name, since she herself doesn't call me that. hehe. I took her a book of Junie B. Jones - the Personal Beeswax journal for her to write and read with this summer.

Saturday night I attended an AIDS benefit that was held at another ex-room parents' home (grins). The children were over at a friends house for the night, so it was just an adult gathering. For a $25 donation, we got $5k play money to spend at the poker and blackjack tables in the backyard. At the end of the night, we turned in the money for raffle tickets: each 1k = 1 raffle ticket. So I just turned in my 5k for 5 raffle tickets hehe. I'm bad at cards. Around 10:45pm the tickets were drawn for door prizes. While I didn't get the 2 free delta tickets to anywhere in contiguous US, I did get some cute golf gifts in an attractive basket. Too bad I don't play golf. The drinks were excellent, and I learned how to make a mojito for myself, rather than pissing off bartenders everywhere for the rest of my life by constantly requesting one. They also had a live band in the backyard, and a dessert bar in the dining room. I did not succeed in my attempt to resist the chocolate fondue fountain, nor the cute lil cubes of pound cake sitting next to the fountain... It was a lovely night... cool air, half moon, tiki torches, lighted tent-awnings, live music. Sigh. I got home about 11:30 from that.

Sunday morning I was up bright and early to go to the GA Renaissance Festival with a friend, to meet friends of his. We dressed up, and walked around looking for thing to purchase to add to our outfits. I bought a pink parasol that didn't go with my garb, but definitely kept the sun off my bosom. I also got tired of the strings to my pouch tangling so I bought a really nice leather belt-purse. I didn't get a turkey leg to eat, and never have. However, I wisely avoided the fajitas this year, and got a BBQ pork sandwich, and paid way too much for a tall beer container with a GA Ren Fest lanyard just so I could walk around the festival w/o having to hold the darn thing. Later that afternoon, I discovered that my raspberry slushie cup fit neatly into my cleavage. Kept me cool as well. Haha. All in all it was a great day.

Monday was... an extension of my weekend and not so great a day.

I went back to the dentist. Luckily for me though, Mr. Mirror had asked if he could drive me. So of course I said yes. He waited in the lobby for me, listening to tunes and reading. I was in the chair trying not to freak out too bad. There were times where I didn't succeed. Like the time they put a huge tray and wad of goop in my mouth to take an impression of a tooth. My chair was reclined, and I started to gag and I couldn't breathe. The drill itself I handled better than I thought I would. The kind my dentist has isn't as noisy as the ones I remember, and he's very precise and quick. Then instead of replacing the filling with more metal, they squeezed in some kind of plastic bonding agent and then stuck some kind of light / laser in there to dry it. Very quick, and quiet. They did this to an upper left molar, and to a lower right molar. Inbetween teeth I had to go out to the lobby and get some huge hugs from Mr. Mirror, who was so kind and reassuring me that I was alright, I was ok, and doing great. I cried heaps into his shoulder. The secretary felt bad, because last time there'd been mention of me getting a prescription for a valium or something, only no one told her, so she hadn't printed one out. They asked if I wanted to go and come back another day for the other tooth, and I said heck no! I was already numbed up on the other side, and I just wanted it over at that point. When they were done with both teeth, they stuck temporary crowns on. The left one is a bit higher than it should be, but I've almost gotten used to it. I couldn't tell too well with my mouth all numb. They gave me a prescription to take the night before and day of when I come back to get the permanent crowns on. They shouldn't have to numb me up then, and I think if I don't get numb, I'll be able to feel the fit better. My jaw is still way sore from the dentist. I feel like ... well, I feel more sore from it for longer, than I ever did from any of my boyfriends. I'll just put it that way.

Oh... and on Tuesday I went to Jenny Craig and found out how much damage I did overall this week. I gained 2lbs!! I knew I'd been eating out of control. Not just at the parties but in packing up the room, pizza before the AIDS benefit, beer at the ren fest... and of course, since I felt wayyy out of control, I topped it off with a mexican dinner and margarita the night before my weigh in.

Viva la FOOD!

Sigh. So now as penance I'm walking every single day this week. And I've started using the ankle weights I bought last week.

It Takes All Kinds

It takes all kinds to make the world go round. Usually this is a good thing, sometimes it's just weird.

Take for example a message I get on MySpace today. It comes from someone with no pic, no info about themselves other than that he's a 40 year old pisces in TN. It also had no subject in the header.

He writes:
do you mind someone being very blunt and honest?

I respond:
Coming from someone who has no photo, nor hardly information posted about themselves, that's a peculiar question.

He writes back:
well...i think you are so hot and i want you very badly...im 5-10 165 blk hr bl eyes...i can email a pic.

Seriously, is this supposed to work on gals? Am I supposed to just throw myself into his arms? Granted, at least he's typing his words out, albeit without capitalization. He must be typing one handed.