Jenny and The Color Red

Today I had my first meal with my new love of my life... Jenny. Breakfast was 1/2 cup of skim milk, french toast with berries and lite syrup. I was still hungry after that, so I drank a ton of water. Two hours later I ate my morning snack: a cup of pears, 6 0z. no fat yogurt, and my vitamins. I felt better after that. I think during the week, I'm going to switch up the breakfasts and dinners. I need more protein to go into my teaching day with.

The meeting at Jenny Craig went well yesterday. I'd even lost 2 lbs. during that week I ate a ton!! Go figure. Last night I also went so far as to break the plastic seal on the new exercise video I picked up 3 weeks ago. The "Belly Twins Indi-Hop". Hip-hop and Bhangra dance combined. I love Bhangra Music, so I figured this would be a good FUN thing for me. The music was awesome, and although I couldn't do all the stuff they were doing at the rate they were doing it, I still broke a sweat and felt relaxed and proud when the cool down was over.

So I was in Target yesterday looking at kitchen knives and thinking of my ex-husband...



but not like that :P I need some new steak knives, and the old woodblock and knife set that I have were a wedding gift 11 years ago.

Red is my new power color. New as in... within the last year. I am slowly redoing all my kitchen accents in red. And it all started with a cool Oster blender from Target. The candy apple red metallic sheen just caught my eye and kept it. Is red in appliances like red in cars? Is this a sign that I'm going through a midlife crisis and want the sporty fast appliance? I dunno, but man it makes me actually *want* to walk into my kitchen.

Today I was browsing after picking out my new red dish drying rack (yep, my old one reminded me of my ex), and I kept seeing cool items with that wonderful red color. Toaster. Toaster-oven. And Microwave!! hmm... I don't *need* a new microwave, but this one is red, only $69.99 and the old one also reminds me of my ex! hahaha

Fortunately for my bank account, I was quick diverted by the kitchen knives. They also had some in red, but I didn't want a whole set for $49.99, and I didn't like the cheap end stuff. So, for now, I'll pass on new knives.

Gastronomics

Why is it no matter how hard I try to be careful, I always end up with a food stain on my shirt when I go out to eat? I know, I know, it's because I'm graced with such a bountiful rack... it's its own virtual shelf.

Tonight I indulged in my last great gastronomic delight. I went to eat Chinese at the Golden Bhudda. Mushuu pork, potstickers, crab rangoons, and a Tsing Tao. I think I have enough leftovers for two more meals in the take home box. Which is just as well since I won't be able to eat these after Saturday. What's Saturday you ask? The fateful day I go to wed Jenny.

Jenny Craig that is. I know that if I don't stop and reverse my eating and exercising habits, one day you'll be reading about how they cut down the wall to lift me out with a crane, only my computer desk was stuck to me with some old maple syrup drippings.

I've been reveling this week in eating anything I wanted or craved. At the same time however, I started taking Hoodia.... and it actually works. Kinda odd that yesterday I *knew* I had permission to eat anything I wanted... but I wasn't hungry and craving food like usual.

I'll be on Jenny's food plan: buying food from them instead of the frozen food section of the store. I'm looking forward to not having to think or cook much. I have thought a lot about this, and my one big fear... irrational and deep from my childhood... is that I'll "go hungry".

It's like that's the basis for my over eating and over ordering. Growing up I got the usual "starving kids in China" and "eat everything on your plate or you'll go to bed hungry". Maybe the latter affected me more than I knew. Why can't parents say "ok, if you're not hungry, don't eat it?"

Maybe they were afraid we'd starve. Instead, we've learned the art of leaving food on our clothes to save for later.

The Monster in My Kitchen

I have done battle with the monster in my kitchen... yes, the dreaded DISHES.

Now, before you think "oh, big whoop, we all do dishes"... understand that I

A) don't have a dishwasher
B) don't do dishes unless it's an emergency or
C) I'm going to have company, in which case it becomes B)

My dishes were so gross they smelled and were evolving into a higher life form. I'm not proud of that fact, but there it is. I made do with utensils. And by utensils I mean plastic ware. And paper plates... and well, a lot of takeout and delivery. Things I can throw away, and not have to hack and slash through dense undergrowth to get to my stove and cook.

I went armed into battle with pink latex gloves, a container of comet, a sponge, and lots of hot water. I also held my breath a lot. The scurmish was interrupted by a phone ringing.

I was hoping it would be my long lost friend Ryan, from high school. But it was my ex-roomie Susan. The conversation went something like this:

Me: hey Susan!
Her: Whatcha doin, were you asleep?
Me: Nope, was doing dishes.
Her: oh wow. Are you at home?
Me: yep (thinking where else would I do dishes?)
Her: Well I'm about to drive by, open your door and come on out!!
Me: k
Her: Are you naked?
Me: Do you want me to be?

hehe I love Susan :D

Why is it?

Why is it that at the moment I'm most short on time, I feel like sharing my thoughts. I mean, it's time for me to leave for school, and yet I click through my browser one last time, revisiting inboxes and message boards as if some new snippet of affection or humor will appear before I head out the door.

Maybe it's the information age equivalent of trying one last snack from the fridge to get that lil carb high that will put a smile on the face.

ah well.

Long Time No Blog

At the behest of a friend who actually CALLED me... to see if I was ok, it's time to update my blog. (Thanks Mr. DJ)

When we last left our heroine she had decided she was head over heels in love with Mr. Wolf, who was coming to see her.

Mr. Wolf did visit, and the visit was good. Filled with much nookie, cuddling, movies, food and rain. Then after the visit, the phone calls and messages, which had been a steady stream beforehand, slowed down to a trickle.

Seems Mr. Wolf found his own social life, complete with friends and clubbing and movies. Skip ahead 2 months and Mr. Wolf calls to say (among other things) that he started seeing someone, and just wanted me to know.

Needless to say I was crushed. I thought we had moved past the point of seeing other people, and apparently I was wrong. It is true we never had a "committed" talk. After a week spent undulating from tearful to proud and thinking thoughts of "his loss" I finally spoke to him again. I have the feeling we'll end up being "friends with benefits".

Sigh. Sometimes I wish I had someone near me that was a friend that I could call up for a night out, or in, or for kisses and cuddles and sex. I miss touch a lot. I miss feeling sexy, being told I'm sexy. Being the object of caring and lust at the same time.

I don't particularly like the way I look at the moment, hence the above pic change. That was taken at a birthday dinner, and in the pic with me (I'm on the right) is my "Bosom Buddy" and ex roommate Susan. She's a lot of fun :D