Coughing the Night Away

So I've gotten bronchitis again. I've had it almost a week. I went to doc and got medicine. I've not taken off work earlier this week for 2 reasons. One is, I feel like my coworkers are tired of me getting sick and being out. Almost like I can't just tough it out, or stay well or whatever. The other is, I've had too much to do in terms of paperwork and meetings and deadlines to take off. I lost my voice this week from coughing. Made for some interesting teaching lol. Thank goodness my paraprofessional is also an excellenet teacher.

I've gained back 7 of the 14 pounds that I lost. I've shown very little control over my eating, eating on whims instead. Spending too much money on take out, rather than spend the time to cook for myself.

My apartment is a wreck. Being sick I don't feel much like cleaning it, and instead either sleep or spend too much time mulling over things I cannot change, and shouldn't brood on anyway. I'm stressed over lack of money.

I think I've been in a mini depression, as I haven't been taking my medication like I should. When I take it, I feel like myself, in control of my feelings and surroundings (well the apartment anyway). When I don't take it, it's like my mind gets in these dark mental loops of either dread, worry, or self-pity that doesn't become me one whit.

sigh

I want to feel myself again. I want to feel in control. Maybe this weekend I can spend some time putting order to my apartment. Call it Feng Shui or whatever, but there can definitely be a better energy about this place.

On a lighter note, I just now saw The Village. Wow! What a good movie. I totally did not expect the ending, which is one of those things I love about M. Night Shyamalan's movies. Not as good as 6th Sense, but better than Signs.